Circle Tower, Kinloch Hold, Sunday Afternoon Fandom Time

[not_every_mage]

Anders hadn't realized how much fuss went into a Harrowing, even for a disgraced apprentice like himself. He'd been given a chance to bathe thoroughly the night before, and offered the first proper meal he'd had in days. And while the robes he'd been brought that morning weren't exactly new, they were clean, and of better quality than anything he'd had with him.

He would have been surprised by how fair they were being to him, but he knew the Circle. There was an agenda behind every kindness.

"It is time for your Harrowing to begin," the Tranquil woman who'd appeared silently in his cell door told him, and Anders's stomach acids rose bitterly into his mouth as he moved to follow her.

Greagoir	The large chamber in which Harrowings were held was all but empty save clusters of enchanters and Templars, who stayed well clear of the large chalice of lyrium needed for the ceremony. Once Anders was led to his place, Greagoir spoke the words of the ritual -- words he'd said hundreds of times before, but rarely in these circumstances. And never to one so young. The words were always meaningful. But today, addressed to Anders, they took on a little extra weight. "Magic is to serve man, and never to rule over him," he began. "This spoke the prophet Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, which was ruled by mages whom had brought the world to the edge of ruin. Your magic is a gift, but it's also a curse. Demons of the dream world, the Fade, will be drawn to you and seek to use you as a gateway to this world." With that, he stepped back and let Irving take over.
Irving	"This is why the Harrowing exists," Irving said, his words flowing smoothly into Greagoir's. "The ritual sends you into the Fade, and there you will face a demon armed only with your will." Anders certainly had plenty of will. Irving only hoped it would see the boy through.
Greagoir	"Know this, apprentice," Greagoir continued. "If you fail, we Templars will do our duty. You will die." He always hoped it wouldn't come to that. This time, he found himself hoping it a little harder. Killing Anders after so much fuss and worry over him would be such a waste.
Irving	Anders had the potential to be one of the greatest healers of the Age, if the boy would stop putting rebellion ahead of his Maker-given gifts. Ah well, passion was the purview of the young. Irving didn't have time for such luxuries anymore. "Your gateway to the Fade," he said, gesturing to the chalice. "The Harrowing is a secret out of necessity, child." A small twinkle entered his eyes. "No discussing it with Karl or your other friends, once you recover." "Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you. Simply keep your wits about you, and remember the Fade is a realm of dreams. The Spirits may rule there, but your own will is just as real and just as powerful."
Greagoir	Usually Greagoir bantered with Irving at this moment, a tiny joke to set the apprentice's mind at ease before they touched the lyrium. It didn't seem appropriate this time. "Once you have touched the lyrium, you have proven yourself a full mage," he said, gesturing Anders toward the chalice. "With all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. You've prepared as best you can. Go."
Anders	Anders nodded, took a deep breath, and touched his fingers to the mound of lyrium. It burned without heat, cool fire crawling up his arm and over his muscles. He had an instant to recognize the pain -- And then everything was white.
Milosh	When the flash of light subsided, Anders found himself on his knees in what seemed to be an endless field of grass and rippling stone hills. Once he had his bearings, he recognized a house some 20 feet away: a neat white farmhouse (although the white was tinted yellow by the strange light of the Fade), with a vegetable garden in the side yard. To anyone else, it would have seemed unremarkable. To Anders, it was the only home he remembered from before the Circle. And the suntanned man in worn work clothes weeding the garden wasn't just any Fereldan farmer: He was Anders' father, Milosh. As Anders approached, he raised his head from his work and spoke as if he'd seen Anders minutes before, not six long years ago. "Oh, there you are," he called. "Get a move on. The turnips won't weed themselves."
Anders	Surprised into silent obedience, Anders walked through the tall yellowing weeds to the garden and crouched beside his father. His hands were braced to pull out a thistle before he realized why the scenario felt so deeply wrong. "I'm in the Fade," he remembered. "This is my Harrowing. You can't be here."
Milosh	Milosh snorted. "You're going to mess that up as badly as you've messed up everything else in your life," he said. "Might as well get some weeding done before you let some demon take your mind. You'll be even less use to anybody then."
Anders	"I'm not going to let a demon take my mind," Anders said irritably. He pulled out the weed, ignoring the way its barbs stung his palm. "You're a demon, not my father. Go find someone else to bother."
Milosh	"No mage thinks they're going to fall to a demon," Milosh returned, sitting back on his heels. "My sister didn't, and your grandparents believed her. She wiped out half our village before the Templars put her down. We had to leave the Anderfels to escape the shame of it all." He looked at Anders very intently. "I never wanted a brat of mine to do the same. If I'd known you had magic when you were born, I would have strangled you in the cradle."
Anders	"You're making that up," Anders accused, a new sharpness in his voice to cover the fear churning in his belly. "You never mentioned anything like that. You never said you had a sister at all."
Milosh	"Your mother didn't want me to worry you," Milosh shrugged, contempt in his voice. "But here, now -- I can tell you the truth. You'll fail the way your aunt did. The way all mages do. I mean, look at you. Practically a man already and you couldn't even figure out how to grieve without turning to demons. What would you do if things got really bad?"
Anders	For the first time, Anders wavered. Even if this wasn't his father exactly, maybe the Fade spirit was right. Maybe he was doomed to fail. "... I don't know."
Fear Demon	The laugh Anders heard in response was unearthly. And when he looked up, he'd see the landscape had shifted to the jagged rocks of the raw Fade. "Oh, that was much too easy," the fear demon said from where his father had once been. "Go along, little mage. You're no sport for me at all. Someone else can bring you down."
Desire Demon	The identity of the Kathy that had visited Anders in a dream might still be up for debate, but the identity of this Kathy was very much not. She was a desire demon who'd sensed a vulnerable and grieving young mage wandering by. Taking her current form and basic surroundings from his mind, she laid her trap. A room, small and shared, but cheerful. A desk, neatly stacked with books and papers. A bed, also small and tidy, with brightly-colored blankets and pillows that promised comfort. A door, left open in invitation, but only slightly, to incite curiosity. And the bait, curled up under the blankets, looking almost...wholesome. For now.
Anders	Distraught at how easily he'd fallen to the fear demon, Anders wandered blindly through the Fade for a bit before stumbling upon the cracked door. He eased it open cautiously, more curious of what he'd find behind it than he was afraid. He was half-relieved to see Kathy inside, even if he suspected this wasn't the real Kathy any more than the fear demon who had taken his father's shape had been his real father. Still. Her presence was disorienting enough to make Anders blink and say, reluctantly, "Hi, Kathy."
”Kathy”	Kathy poked her head up out of the blankets and offered him the same bright smile she had a hundred times over. "Anders!" she said, holding out a hand to him. "Did you have a good nap? You didn't have another one of those Fade nightmares, did you?" She scooted over in the bed to make room for him. "Come and snuggle and talk to me, huh? We'll figure everything out together."
Anders	Wait. Could he be dreaming? Anders didn't think so, but in the moment it was hard to be sure. He sat next to the girl but didn't touch her yet. "I was back in the Circle," he said. "It was my Harrowing, and there was a Fear demon who looked like my father. I ... was it all a dream?"
”Kathy”	"Back in the Circle?" Kathy asked, closing the distance between them by wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "Why would you be back in the Circle? You know I'd never let you go back there. It's awful!" And now her legs were wrapping around him, too. This one had power and still enough spirit remaining to be a fun playmate. For awhile, anyway.
Anders	Anders' body involuntarily relaxed against hers. "Cassandra," he remembered. "You were dead, and I wanted to bring you back, and Cass caught me and dragged me home." He was giving the girl a funny look. Maker, what he'd give for this to be real and the Circle to all be a dream...
”Kathy”	"Me? Dead?" Kathy laughed at that. "How could I possibly be dead? No, silly, I'm right here, in your arms, warm and alive." She pressed a kiss to his neck, then nibbled the skin there. "Do you want me to show you how warm and alive I really am?" she asked in a husky whisper in his ear. "You know I'd like nothing better." Oh gee, however had she ended up in his lap?
Anders	"There were zombies," Anders remembered. "You stayed to fight them, it was awful --" And then he noticed something that shook him out of the conversation. A new sharpness to her teeth, maybe, or a putrid edge to her scent. "But you aren't her, are you?" he asked, trying to push her off his lap so he could stand. "I know your tricks, demon. You won't seduce me."
Desire Demon	The demon fell backwards onto the floor with a hiss, resuming her natural form. The rest of the illusion fell away and the stood bathed in the light of the Fade ones more. "You should have just allowed yourself to believe, foolish mage," she spat. "You would have been happy. I could have seen to that. Now you're nothing again, just a vessel for loss forever and ever!"
Anders	"No, I'm more than that," Anders said, and for the first time in weeks he felt like it might be true. "I'm a healer, and a friend, and I have a whole life to live. And if it's unbearably sad sometimes, that's the price of being alive." There had been a staff leaning against one wall of the cozy room, and he grabbed it to hold between himself and the demon.
Desire Demon	The demon hissed again, tail lashing like a mad cat. Then she composed herself and offered him a smile. "But you could be more..." she whispered. "You could be free again. I can help you kill that idiot First Enchanter and the venial Templar. You can run again, find a new place to be, make it strong and impenetrable, a safe haven for other mages to seek out and find." She edged closer, hands poised to pluck the staff away from him if he showed even the slightest bit of hesitation.
Anders	Anders laughed bitterly and aimed a curl of ice at the demon. "I don't want Irving dead," he said. "Maker, he's the only reason I'm not dead or Tranquil already. And I'm not going to be any good to anybody as your thrall."
”Kathy”	The demon shrieked and went down, taking Kathy's face once again. "Don't kill me!" she begged. "I'll do anything you want! Just don't hurt me!"
Anders	"Don't hide behind her face, you ---" Anders let out a torrent of abuse as he fought the demon. Seeing it plead, something Kathy would never have done, somehow made him even angrier. He might still be lost to the Fade. But it wouldn't be to this demon.
Desire Demon	At first, the demon stubbornly clung to the image of the girl, hoping it would make it harder for Anders to strike at her. Several blasts of ice and fire later and she hastily abandoned that idea, dropping the guise in the hopes she could get him to stop. "I surrender!" she wailed, prone on the ground and holding up an arm to block his next strike. "I surrender. Let me live and I'll lead you beyond this part of the Fade!"
Anders	"Why should I trust you?" Anders asked, hesitating with his staff in midair. Not because he planned to do as she asked -- he wouldn't -- but because he was curious what she'd say.
Desire Demon/b>	"Because I want to live more than I want to keep fighting," the demon told him. "I'd rather you just go and leave me alive."
Anders	""So you can put on some other woman's face and use it to try to trick some other mage?" Anders asked incredulously. "No. Not a chance." He struck out again, trying to make it a killing blow.
Desire Demon	And the demon died. Screaming. She raised a hand in supplication, catching at the hem of his robe. It was the last thing that vanished into the Fade.
Anders	Anders was still shaken by his fight with the desire demon as he walked deeper into the fade. The path grew more difficult as he went, as thorns and brambles scratched at his ankles and the sound of demonic howls and laughter rang in his ears. (When he turned to look for its source, there was nothing to see.) It felt like a very long time before he came to a clearing in which a giant cat lounged, black as night and looking twice as fierce.
Cat Demon	The creature flickered its golden eyes at Anders, licked its fangs with a great pink tongue, and spoke inside Anders' mind. Do we have to fight, or will you save me the bother and just surrender? it inquired.
Anders	"I'm not surrendering," Anders said tightly, with just the faintest shiver at the way the cat had addressed him. "I need to live if I'm going to find my way back to ... anything, really." He cast fire at the cat from his staff -- an experimental blow, designed more to test the creature than as a serious attempt at hurting it.
Cat Demon	Oh, yes you will, the cat said, sounding more amused than bothered as it easily dodged the blow of Anders' magic. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Many mages fall, and you're even weaker than most of them. He pounced toward Anders, batting at him with his paws in a way that reminded Anders of Lachlan's technique for hunting any mouse he came across. Couldn't even hack it in a soft Circle life, it added. Had to run away to find people stupid enough to buy your sob story about being a poor oppressed mage.
Anders	"It wasn't like that," Anders insisted, hopping up onto a ridge so he could get some distance from the demon as they continued to fight. "It's wrong to lock people up for something they can't change. I've always thought that."
Cat Demon	The cat leapt after him, knocking him over with two great paws. It's wrong to lock you up, you mean, it said. I've never seen you bother yourself much trying to get freedom for anyone else.
Anders	"That's not true. You're just trying to get me to feel weak so I'll fall," Anders said, getting the beast off him with a violent shove of his staff. "It won't work."
Cat Demon	The cat retreated slightly, coiling its muscles for its next move, and made a laughing noise that resounded deep in Anders' skull. Silly mage, it said again. Of course you'll fall. The only reason Greagoir and Irving let you do this is so no one will blame them for killing you. There are Templars standing over your body with swords at the ready right now. No one expects you to pass. Not even Karl.
Anders	"Shut up," Anders said sharply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The cat was all too easy to believe; he could imagine the scene of Templars all but pricking his flesh with his swords without even trying. "Just -- shut up. You don't scare me, and you won't, and you will never, ever have me."
Cat Demon	As you wish, the cat said, more amused than anything. He didn't hold back as he pounced at Anders, and the mage counted himself lucky he managed to slow the demon with a blast of ice before he did too much damage. They battled like that for some time, one barely getting an edge on the other, before Anders (miraculously, it seemed to him) got the demon down and raised his staff for a killing blow. The cat's voice stopped him. Well-done, he said lazily. I suppose you have passed. Just remember this is far from the last challenge you'll face. And sooner or later, you will fall to us.
Anders	"Never," Anders said -- and then watched as the cat demon, and the Fade around it, dissolved into that same bright light that had accompanied his arrival. The next thing he knew, he opened his eyes to find himself on a snug bed in the same cloistered room where he'd spent much of the prior week. A clay pitcher of water and a glass on the bedside table, and Anders could see a platter of bread and fruit on the hutch across the room. He noticed a piece of paper on the table and groped for it. The text swam before his eyes for several moments before he could read: Congratulations, Enchanter. We couldn't be more proud you made it through. Rest tonight, and tomorrow we'll discuss your new place in the Circle. - Irving Anders groaned at a twisting in his stomach and let his eyes drift shut again. Waiting until the next day to have any serious conversations -- especially a conversation about something as depressing as his place in the Circle -- sounded just fine to him. For now, there was sleep, and a blessed lack of dreams.

[OOC: Harrowing ritual wording from Dragon Age: Origins. Anders’ encounter with the cat demon taken from this codex entry. Special guest appearances by spin_kick_snap and icecoldfrost. NFB, NFI, void where prohibited.]