not_every_mage | Voice Mail!

He would be right, up to a point. But she wasn't just here because she liked fighting zombies. She was staying because she felt responsible. That she could make a real and present difference in the survival of the city. That abandoning LA before she absolutely had to reflected on her not just as a hero, but as a person. That her value was inextricably bound with saving as many lives as possible.

It was complicated. And hard for Kathy to articulate, since they were vague feelings at best. Maybe they would have swayed Anders if she could explain them.

Maybe not. In the end, the maybes didn't matter. She couldn't explain, so he had no way to fully understand.

The zombies he hit with the lightning went down, twitching, as the lightning caused muscles to seize. They didn't register pain the way a living human would after getting zapped that way, but they couldn't control their bodies, either. Kathy danced into their midst and finished them off before the effects could wear off. "...That's pretty damn effective," she said, blinking at how quickly the zombies had ceased to be a thread. "You spark, I stab?"

They still made a hell of a team.

Whether Anders understood, or could understand, or not, was ultimately beside the point to him. He wouldn't have even thought of staying, and Kathy couldn't imagine not. There was no more to say.

"I'll spark, you stab," he agreed. "We'll have this place cleared out in no time."

And then he let out a battle cry as he unleashed his anger and confusion at the next zombie to lumber into view.

Kathy was everywhere at once--kick in a zombie's skull as it lunged at Anders, dancing away from a thread of lightning that had gotten too close because she'd been paying more attention to a zombie than to where Anders had released his magic, pushing a frightened man back into his room with instructions to come out only when he heard the fire alarm. Once even pausing in the middle of the fight to press an exuberant kiss to Anders' cheek before bouncing away again. He just looked so good wreathed in lightning and magic, raining destruction down.

They moved slowly towards the lobby, making enough noise to draw the remaining zombies to them, rather than to continue to pursue other prey. "How you doing?" she called. "Do you need to take a magic break? I can cover you!"

"I can keep going," Anders shouted back as he aimed stonefist at the head of the nearest zombie. It exploded into red goo, and he realized he felt a lot better than he had ten minutes before. Destruction made things easy that way.

A note of mischief entered his tone. "What about you, do you need me to cover you?"

"I know you can keep going, but is this really the time or place to brag about it?" Kathy teased, hammer kicking a zombie into Anders' sightline. "I thought I was very clear in my appreciation for that trait last night!"

Anders shocked the zombie into stillness, then hopped over its body to get closer to Kathy.

"You were, but you haven't mentioned it in a few hours," he teased back. "Thought you might have forgotten -- Kathy, to your left!"

How rude of that zombie to interrupt his flirting like that. Anders was going to shock it extra hard.

Kathy didn't even look, just dropped to the ground and snapped her foot out. There was a dull noise as she popped a zombie's kneecap out of its socket, and then it was on the floor, twitching, as Anders' magic coursed through it.

She made sure it didn't get up, then regained her feet. "Consider it mentioned now," she said, looking at him. "With gratitude."

It hadn't been a close call, but working with him brought home just how good it was to have a partner that you could rely on. With Anders at her six, she could be confident that nothing was sneaking up on her.

It wasn't close, but it was close enough that Anders was grateful to have been there. It seemed as though they both fought better together than alone. And in a different world, he would have loved to stay and help her fight. But this was the world they had, and in this world a little girl was waiting.

It didn't take much longer before the last few zombies had been put down and the hotel lobby was clear. Anders had sat down in an overstuffed armchair, spreading gore over what had no doubt once been expensive upholstery.

"I should shower before I catch my portal," he observed dully. "I don't need to give Carys nightmares by showing up covered in zombie goo."

Hey, it wasn't like he was going to be charged for damages. Or even the room, really. Nothing like the zombie apocalypse to save money.

"You're probably right," she said quietly. "Shower big enough for two?"

It wasn't even that her usual post-fight adrenaline rush asking. She was trying to figure out where the boundaries between them were. They'd been shifted and moved around so much since last night that it was impossible to keep track. But there was no question that she'd hurt him. Deeply.

Anders involuntarily winced. He didn't want to shut Kathy out forever, but he wasn't ready to do anything physical with her right then either. And a shower for two was never just a shower.

"Not this time," he said apologetically, and was grateful the circumstances gave him a ready-made excuse. "I'm going to have to hurry to catch my portal. I'll just rinse off and go."

"Right," Kathy said, taking an involuntary step backwards. It was the answer she'd been expecting but it still hurt to hear. "I'll make sure you have a portal waiting for you, then," she said. Had he already called for one? Honestly, Kathy couldn't remember and it made for a handy excuse. "And get our stuff together."

Keep busy. She'd just keep busy to keep herself from falling apart.

"My hero," Anders said, with a tiny, embarrassed smile. He'd forgotten to call in all the excitement. "Thank you."

"No problem," Kathy said, talking to something in the vicinity of Anders' kneecaps. "It's important for at least one of us to be there for her. Even if she has other people she knows on the island, she deserves to have her family with her."

Kathy understood the importance of family.

"She does," Anders agreed, to the air above Kathy's head. "Don't worry. I wouldn't say anything bad about you to her."

Family was important, and Anders believed in playing fair.

They sure were having great conversations with various points of not-each-other.

"Thanks," Kathy said. "I mean, I didn't think you would, exactly. I mean, you're not the type..."

But he was also hurt and angry and bitter, or so she was guessing, and that was enough to make anyone not want to play flairly for a bit.

"I'm not, but people do funny things when they're hurt," Anders said bluntly. "But Carys is the important thing. Not -- anything between the two of us."

He was hurt, and angry, and bitter, and one other thing: frightened that Kathy was going to turn into another loss in a life that already seemed too full of them. But it didn't seem like any of that was going to sway Kathy, so he didn't go through it again. (And, if he let him be more fair than he felt like being: Why should it make a difference? What was a lover balanced against an entire city she loved?)

He stood, dusted himself off, and turned to head back to the room.

Edited 2016-04-21 16:16 (UTC)

Kathy let him go, the weight of guilt and grief heavy on her shoulders. He'd gotten almost to their hotel room door before her head snapped back up and she bounded after him. They were letting one another go, but that didn't mean--

"Anders!" she called. She skidded to a stop next to him, reached out, and tried to pull him in for a kiss goodbye. "I love you," she said. "Whether this changes how you feel, or not, or you're still unsure, I love you. And I just needed you to know that before I let you go."

Anders gave in to his own desires and returned the kiss fiercely.

"I love you too," he said. "But right now, with you making the choice you're making, it's not enough."

That kiss. For one long, glorious moment, everything was good and right between them.

And then the kiss was over and the moment ended and they were just two kids standing in a blood-drenched hallway, one leaving, the other staying. "I know," she said. "And I don't blame you for that at all." Honestly, even as much as it hurt, it was probably one of the most mature things she'd ever heard him say. "Thank you for not trying to use love as a way to get me to do what you want."

Her parents wouldn't have hesitated.

"When I come home, we can see what's left. See if there's something we can build on. But even if there isn't, I love you. And you'll always be my best friend."

She gave him a victory-sign and stepped back. "Go shower. I'll get you a portal."

"No, I tried every type of pleading I could think of when I was out here with Dante," Anders said wearily. "Why would bringing love into it work any better?"

He took a few more thoughtful steps. "I'm not making any forever decisions right now," he said. "But when you come home, we can talk about it."

That was the best he could do. Maybe it would be enough. Maybe not. Either way, they'd always be friends.

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