Anders didn't say anything at first, just nuzzled against Nathan's neck tattoo and wished ... He wished a lot of things. The tattoo and what it symbolized not being there was high on the list.

"It was different for me," he said slowly. "Getting close to someone, getting off -- it was a way to be free for a little while. Not that I was-- it's not a long list besides you."

Karl had been the only time it was more than amateurish groping and fumbling about, and he wished he had Karl's calm certainty about it all to give Nathan. He didn't, so he groped for Nathan's hand, still not sure he was wording things quite right. "I'm here. No matter how long you take to feel ready."