Voice Mail!

[not_every_mage]

-- aste's corset, how do you know when this contraption is working?

Er, hello. This is Anders. Do ... whatever you do when you're talking to one of these things, and I'll respond when I can.

---

[OOC: This journal is for RP purposes only. I do not own Anders, Dragon Age, or Toby Regbo.]

Comments

[not_every_mage]

"Thanks," Anders said, unaware of the drama on the other end of the line. "It sounded like Boston was kind of a story, and typing it back and forth seemed silly. Are you doing all right?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Hey now, it was less drama and more...awkward nerd flailing?

"Of course!" Kathy chirped, almost by reflex. And then immediately facepalmed. "By which I mean...no?" Her voice was a lot more normal with that answer. "I don't really know. Better than I was, but still a long way from good?"

Yeah, that was a lot more truthful. "I play at being in great shape so I don't worry people, but things have been...kinda rough. If you don't mind me complaining your ear off for awhile."

[not_every_mage]

Well, that was a little worrisome.

"I want to know what's going on with you," Anders said honestly, as he leaned back on a pillow. "And I'd feel like an arse if I decided that didn't include the bad parts. Complain away."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy took a deep breath, like she was steeling herself for the conversation. "You remember how I remembered Eva and everything?" she asked in a low voice. "Well, that's not all I remember. A lot of why I was so quiet after we got to the house was because I was kind of...sorting though the implications."

She ran a hand through her hair, worried she was being too vague. "Remember how Gorgon died?" she asked. "Because I do."

[not_every_mage]

"But Gorgon didn't die," Anders said, confused. "I should know, I healed him. Or did he die after we left?"

He might have missed Kathy's larger point.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Wait--you healed him?" Kathy asked, jaw dropping. "But I saw him! He saw me and let his guard down and then Rodney twisted him in half and tossed him over the wall to...to where the heroes lived."

She didn't know it was called the Mount. Rodney had kept her stashed in the basement of one of the buildings along with Midknight so as not to give the game away too early.

"Anders, he was basically turned around by the time Rodney was done with him. And you healed all that?" Color her astonished. And impressed.

[not_every_mage]

"It wasn't as bad as it looked," Anders said -- though he couldn't keep how pleased he was with himself at Kathy's astonishment out of his tone completely. "He was breathing and his head didn't hit anything hard, so it was just making it so his legs didn't look like a jigsaw puzzle. He'll probably need to get them reset if he doesn't want a limp."

He hesitated, scratching at his chin. "Wait, you were watching? I -- didn't know you could."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I wasn't," she said, "not exactly."

Her hands were twisting in her shirt now, the memory of Rodney's will forcing her body to move according to his whims.

"From what I'm remembering and what Josh said at the clinic, an ex is still alive on the cellular level. Nerves twitch, muscles work--that's how we can keep going. So, those ten months I was dead, my brain was still making memories. Like...like someone leaving a recording going, but no one being present to watch it." She huffed a humorless laugh. "But then when I woke up, all those recordings were there, waiting for me to sit down and watch them, as it were. I thought they were just horrible dreams, but..."

She shook her head. "I remember everything I did as an ex. Everyone I killed."

And ate.

[not_every_mage]

"Dear Maker," Anders cursed, with sincere feeling. Kathy's explanation was horrific. "That's -- that's cruel, is what it is. Just seeing the exes was bad enough, and to have what one did in your head -- I'm sorry. I can't imagine."

[spin_kick_snap]

"I know that it wasn't me, but it's hard to remember that when it's all from my point of view," Kathy said quietly. "And then I came home and asked Raven about what happened to my family. And she told me." She inhaled a shaky breath. "She had to take care. Of them. My mom and dad. Dad had turned and had just...savaged her. She was still--she hadn't--not by the time Raven had to step in..."

Sorry for how incoherent that was. She was still having trouble putting it into words. hopefully that got across her main gist, what had happened to her parents.

[not_every_mage]

"... Raven killed your parents," Anders said,and left it there. Some stories didn't need comment. "And -- Sarah?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Already dead," Kathy said dully. Talking about Sarah was almost easier. At least if she didn't think so hard about all the times she'd been her dad to someone else's Sarah. Like that teen she'd chased down. "When Raven came in, Dad was crouched--she'd run and tripped and cracked her skull on the edge of our old table. She probably didn't feel anything after she fell."

[not_every_mage]

"At least that was fast," Anders said. "I'm so sorry, Kathy."

He wished, more than ever, that he hadn't thrown Kathy's family in her face when she was back from the dead for a weekend. But that was just another thing to add to a growing stack of regrets,

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah," Kathy said and was quiet for another few seconds. "So, umm, that was my Valentine's Day. Which was why I left before I got your lollipops. Raven told me and I, umm, didn't handle it well. So I just left. I couldn't stay on the island anymore."

[not_every_mage]

"I don't blame you," Anders said. "And I just didn't check on you because I didn't want to be some weird ex-boyfriend who wouldn't leave you alone."

Poor word choice, Anders.

"Did you work it out with Raven?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy winced. Yeah, poor wording. But she didn't make an issue of it. It just seemed petty right now. "You may not be my boyfriend anymore," Kathy said, and she was proud of how her voice didn't waver. "But you're still my friend. And you're always welcome. Wherever I am. Whatever stupid day it is."

[not_every_mage]

Despite everything she'd told him about the horrors of the time in LA, the warmth she was expressing made Anders smile.

"Not to change the subject, but technically I don't think we broke up," he mused. "Did we? Or does it happen automatically if one person dies?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Aren't we?" That lick of hope flared up so high in her heart that it almost hurt. She tamped it down, trying not to let it show. It would only hurt more if--"I think that's up to you more than anyone else. When I died, it was April of 2016. I might have come back in January of 2017, but it still feels like April to me."

She went silent. She'd probably said too much, too seriously. But that's what happened when she started getting things off her chest. She forgot where the off switch for her honesty was.

Funny though. The last time she'd said anything like this, she remembered feeling a lot happier and more hopeful about it.

[not_every_mage]

"It still feels like April to you," Anders repeated dully, a flush of surprise and hope spreading through him. "And here I've been trying to be careful and give you space. Let you come to me if you were ready. All of that."

Of course things had changed for him since the April before; he wasn't made of wood. But he'd loved Kathy for a lot longer than ten months, and it hadn't been a switch he had turned off when she didn't come back.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Come to you?" Kathy was flabbergasted. God, she would have wanted nothing more, but-- "Anders, I don't have the right to come to you. I mean, I left and you were so angry and you didn't want me to come back and then you and Dante..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "I was counting myself lucky that you still wanted to be my friend. Anything more than that was too much to hope for. You'd moved on. Found peace. it wasn't my place to come in and demand anything from you at all."

[not_every_mage]

Anders took a second, putting himself in Kathy's place. Trying to decide if he was ready to rock this fragile little boat of her being back.

He'd never been one for caution.

"I was angry," he agreed, finally. "Maybe I needed some time to get my head in order. I don't know if it is in order, really. But if you're willing to give us a try -- Kathy, if that's demanding, I like you demanding."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Mine's not," Kathy said bluntly. "I'm...I'm pretty fucked up, Anders. You have to know that. Going in. I'm not okay. There's still so much I haven't even had time to process yet. It's not going to be easy."

But god, being with Anders had always been the easiest thing in the world. She craved that again. Just something she didn't have to work at, to struggle to fit.

"And...there's Dante. I think...I think maybe you should talk to him. Before we agree to anything. Because as much as I want to be with you more than anything...I don't want my yes to come at the expense of whatever you have with Dante. I left. He didn't."

[not_every_mage]

"Right. Dante." And with that, Anders was back in the real world, pulled out of the fantasy he'd been building in his head. "I should tell you, things aren't the same with him as they were when you left."

Which anyone with eyes could probably tell, but Anders was starting small, here.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I'd noticed," Kathy agreed, curling around herself a little. She'd seen them together and the part of her that wasn't selfish was glad for them.

The parts that weren't were jealous (of both of them really), hurt, sad, and even a little angry. But she was trying really, really hard to focus on the parts of her that weren't selfish.

"He's happy around you in a way I don't think I've ever seen him be before," she added. "You're good together."

[not_every_mage]

"I didn't plan on it," Anders said quickly, feeling guilty. "I wasn't looking for anything emotional from him. But now -- I think I'm in love with him, Kathy."

That was scary to say aloud, but he figured Kathy deserved to know what she was coming into. He chewed on his thumbnail. "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"