Chez Dante & Anders, Limbo City, Monday Morning

[not_every_mage]

After two weeks of luxury, coming home felt strange. On the one hand, having to pick his own socks off the floor and pour his own cereal into the bowl felt even more burdensome than usual.

On the other ... it was nice not to have to worry about getting hauled into whimsical alien jail if the person he had been mistaken for showed up. That made up for a lot of annoying daily chores.

He'd done some laundry that morning, with only a few giant sighs along the way, and lugged the basket into the living room to fold while he watched some soothing TV. The first channel he turned on was showing a special about imaginary animals, which was enough to have him sighing at the screen even more loudly.

"Why is everything mythical here?" he asked thin air. "It's probably for the good of everyone they don't have to worry about dragons, but they should at least have a few phoenix or deepstalkers somewhere."

[OOC: Open for calls, the housemate, etc.]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

"What's a deepstalker?" Dante called, poking his head out of the kitchen.

He had a chunk of pizza still sticking out his mouth, because he was classy like that sometimes.

[not_every_mage]

"Lizard thing," Anders called back, though not without scrunching his nose at the pizza situation. "Ankle-biters, but they can fuck you up if they swarm you. Knew a girl once who lost a finger trying to pet one."

A pause. "Unless you're here, because apparently in this world they're a forgotten Slavic myth."

Yes, he was indignant about that.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Are you angry at the TV again?" Dante asked practically, swallowing that last bite of pizza. "'Cause it sounds like you're angry at the TV again."

[not_every_mage]

"I'm not angry," Anders protested. "I just think the animals in this world are all wrong. Did you know phoenixes aren't supposed to be real either?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"...Yes?" was the only real answer to that, wasn't it?

[not_every_mage]

Anders frowned. "Then how come you never told me?"

Even as he spoke, he knew it was probably for the same reason the fact had taken him five years to figure out. Phoenixes didn't exactly come up frequently in conversation.

[rebelseekspizza]

"You've literally never mentioned phoenixes before," Dante said, shrugging as he walked into the room. "Anyway, fuck if I know, I spent half my life surrounded by demons, I'm not an expert."

[not_every_mage]

"It's not as if I spend a lot of time thinking about them," Anders shrugged, picking one of Dante's t-shirts off the pile to fold. "They just hang out in the desert, smell bad and eat anything stupid enough to get in their way. Figured they were about the same here."

He quirked a tiny smile at Dante. "See, in Thedas we're creative. We have all kinds of things that can kill you besides demons."

[rebelseekspizza]

"Yeah, I don't really need anything else on my plate," Dante said. He sunk down on the sofa, stretching his legs. "But if you want to run a few creatures past me and play 'myth or reality', I'm game."

[not_every_mage]

"All right," Anders said, twisting to look at Dante. "I think I know the answer to this, but are there any spiders bigger than the palm of your hand?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"I... don't think so?" Dante said slowly.

He didn't know shit about spiders, Anders.

[not_every_mage]

Anders frowned at him. "What do you mean, you don't think so?"

[rebelseekspizza]

"I mean, I've never been to Australia?" Dante said.

[not_every_mage]

"If we ever get there and find out they do, I'll kill a spider for you," Anders said nobly.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante snickered. "What, like a gift?" he said. "Are we gonna have it stuffed and put it up above the fireplace?"

They did not, it had to be pointed out, have a fireplace.

[not_every_mage]

"I was thinking more like a hat," Anders deadpanned. "You know, with the legs draped over your neck down to your shoulders."

They didn't have a fireplace, but Dante had a head!

[rebelseekspizza]

"Sounds hot," Dante said, stretching his legs out, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

It sucked not having Kathy here. But it still felt good to be home.

[not_every_mage]

"I'd be all over you," Anders said, and gave him an exaggerated wink. "There's something about a man willing to wear arachnids."

[rebelseekspizza]

"It's all the legs, isn't it?" Dante joked easily.

[not_every_mage]

"And the eyes," Anders added, neatly adding the folded shirt to a stack and reaching for another. "All shiny and poisonous and ... dead. Perfect to set off your features."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante snickered softly, leaning over to press a kiss against his cheek. "Having fun with the laundry, your Excellency?"

[not_every_mage]

"Not in the least," Anders said, and would have frowned at the thought if the kiss hadn't been so pleasantly distracting. "I forgot how annoying it is to have to take care of yourself. It's going to take a while to get used to again."

[rebelseekspizza]

"I knew it," Dante said, leaning back. There was amusement clear in his expression. "You're a princess at heart."

[not_every_mage]

"And the sad thing is, I can't even argue with that," Anders sighed. "I never thought I needed to be spoiled until it happened."

Blondie traipsed into the room and made little mrowling noises as she pawed some of the socks into a nest, and Anders looked at her wryly.

"Now, if you want to talk about princesses...."

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante looked over there, and let out a soft laugh. "True," he said. "Fuck, I missed seeing that."