Room 322, Friday Midday

[not_every_mage]

After Nathan got him home from town the day before, Anders had slept 12 hours, woken up for just long enough to devour three sandwiches and a sleeve of cookies, showered, filled Lachlan's food bowl and made some abject apologies to the cat who was now ignoring him in retribution, and then gone back to sleep for six more hours.

He was awake again now, though he almost wished he wasn't. When he was asleep, he wasn't thinking about how bloody stupid he'd been to fall prey to someone obviously evil just because he dangled the right kind of shiny. It wasn't as if he hadn't been warned it was all too good to be true; he'd just chosen to ignore it.

He didn't like to think about what that meant for him the next time he went up against a real demon at home. Possession was a fear for any mage.

Even knowing he'd forced Cassandra to spend a week on a fool's errand didn't give him much satisfaction. He supposed he owed her some kind of apology for his conduct, though not nearly as intense of one as what he owed Kathy. That might take cookies at a minimum. (Or some kind of present, anyhow. He wasn't sure what exactly said "sorry I almost froze you to death while I was in a demon's thrall.")

He laid on bed with his eyes open, thinking all of this over. He'd heard people were gathering at the clinic, and he'd go there to see what he could do. Later. Right now he was still weak and achy, and still needed most of his energy to finish healing himself.

[OOC: Mainly a linkdrop but open if you want!]

Comments

[not_every_mage]

Anders frowned at her, puzzled that she wasn't angrier, but let it lapse into a soft, weak smile. "I guess I am," he said, sounding confused. "That is, for someone who fell in thrall to a demon, ignored everyone and everything else for weeks, and attacked one of his best friends. You might have to grade on a bit of a curve. And you --?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Fell in thrall to a demon, stole items from a teacher and one of her best friends, and ignored everyone and everything for a week," Kathy said, shrugging a bit to try and play it off. "So, not in a position to really throw stones at anyone."

Beat.

"But also okay? Well, feeling better, anyway. Sleep and food help."

[not_every_mage]

"They did," Anders said, eager to commiserate. "And I'll go down to the clinic to see if I can help once I'm up to full strength. I just -- it's different for me. You haven't been hearing how careful mages had to be about demons since the day you were born. So I was especially stupid."

[spin_kick_snap]

"That's true," Kathy conceded. "I'm just the girl who stole and lied to people she cared about because that was gonna lead to me being a better person. So at least you're not alone in feeling stupid? I'm pretty sure we all do." She tilted her head slightly in question. "Did you know he was a demon?"

[not_every_mage]

"So we both win at Who Was Stupider," Anders conceded. "And no, not really. Probably it would have spoiled his game if he was obvious about it."

He still thought he should have been able to tell, but he wasn't sure anyone from outside Thedas would understand why he felt that way as deeply as he did.

Anyhow, Kathy had said some other interesting things. He tilted his head at her. "Can I ask what you stole? Or did you not want to talk about it?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Sure, but I'm gonna have to be...vague on some stuff?" Kathy said. She wasn't about to compound what she'd done to Minako by outing her secret identity. "Do you mind if I come in and sit down, maybe? It's not really a conversation for the hallway."

[not_every_mage]

"Oh, right, sorry," Anders apologized, and swept the door open. "Come on in."

He wandered over to sit on his bed, back propped against his headboard.

[spin_kick_snap]

And Kathy perched on the foot, not wanting to crowd Anders too much. Or get too close and watch him pull away. She was still a little...shaky...in regards to friendships right now.

"So, I stole three things. Well, I guess more like two and a half--one, I just kinda aided and abetted someone else." In fairness, Kathy had been told that they were just taking back someone else's stolen property, but she wasn't feeling very charitable to herself right now. "That one was a hard drive that belongs to Ms. Parker and her boyfriend. I confessed to them last night, once I realized it belonged to them. And the second was a letter of Mr. Starsmore's. I didn't read it, but it's got to be pretty important to him. It was really old and really worn, but he carried it around with him everywhere, so..."

She'd begun wringing her hands. Because, just...wow. How had she ever been able to convince herself that that was okay?

"And the last thing was from Minako. Something very, very important to her. And when she came to ask me if I'd seen anyone go into her room, I lied and then accused her of losing it because she was careless." And then had thrown up the confessions of her previous life into her face.

[not_every_mage]

Anders screwed up his face, trying to find a good light to shed on that set of confessions, and ... couldn't. He wasn't a notably positive thinker at the best of times, and this was not the best of times.

"Oh, Kathy," he said instead. "I'm sorry. If it matters, I know you'd never do anything like any of that if you were in your right mind. Have they gotten the things back yet?"

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy inhaled a quavery breath, ruthlessly stomping down the prickle of tears. She'd come to make sure Anders was all right, not cry all over him. "Minako did?" she said. "The other two were already given to Mr. Gaunt. But I hadn't been able to quite commit myself to handing over Minako's thing, so she ended up getting it back. After we, umm, sorta fought a little."

See why Kathy was giving you no attitude about a little frostbite, Anders?

[not_every_mage]

"And she came out of it in one piece?" All Anders knew about Minako was that she was blond and seemed ....ditzy wasn't exactly a polite word, but it was what came to mind. "You must've been holding back."

He wasn't teary; he was angry at himself. It didn't leave a lot of room to be angry at anyone else.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I hadn't eaten in almost a week," Kathy said, skirting around the issue of just what Minako could do. "And I was distracted a lot. I didn't really want to hurt her and my mirror was kind of shouting at me."

Which was a very normal statement to make, yes.

[not_every_mage]

".... go back to the part about the shouting mirror," Anders requested, far more interested in that than in Minako's capabilities. "That's, er, quite unique."

[spin_kick_snap]

"So, the thing Mr. Gaunt sold me was a magic mirror that supposed showed futures," Kathy said, fiddling a bit with her hair. "Stuff like me getting into an amazing college for free and me standing on a rooftop, being listened to by a bunch of other heroes. Stuff like that."

She was not going to mention to Anders the 'vision' that'd he'd been in. Shocking, no?

"When I first started thinking about giving Minako her item back, the mirror started using my family to yell at me, to tell me that the only way I was ever going to amount to anything was to bring it back to Mr. Gaunt like I was supposed to, that once I did it would finally tell me the secret of how to be...you know." She shrugged.

Beautiful, wonderful, finally worth caring about.

"Better, I guess. But if you've never fought while your mom screams nasty names at your friend and you for not fighting hard enough, it's kinda distracting."

[I didn't get a notif about this! I'm so sorry!]

[not_every_mage]

"Strangely enough,I haven't had that experience, but I can imagine it doesn't help you focus," Anders said dryly. "Good thing you got the mirror instead of me,though. I'd still be staring into it."

[spin_kick_snap]

"If Minako hadn't jolted me out of it, I probably would, too."

She looked up at him, eyes soft. "I'm sorry it wasn't really your phylactery, though. I mean, I'm glad that Gaunt didn't really have something that personal of yours, but I'm sorry anyway."

[not_every_mage]

"Thanks," Anders said, unconsciously closing his hands into fists. It was going to take him some time to come to terms with having found and then lost the phylactery so quickly. "Suppose it's better it wasn't real. I don't really need someone like Gaunt messing around with a bit of my blood."

He barked a hollow laugh. "Besides, I didn't exactly present a great case for mage freedom while I had it, did I?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"You weren't any worse than the rest of us," Kathy pointed out. "I mean, you didn't turn around and declare yourself Mage-Emperor of Fandom or anything." She wrinkled her nose. "Considering the hold he had on all of us, I don't think 'free' actually describes your situation anyway."

Free will was Gaunt's will, mostly.

"Why? What do you think you should have done?"

[not_every_mage]

"I should have known he was a demon and found a way to get him out of town the first time I saw him," Anders said flatly. "I let myself get blinded by my own human desires. You don't understand, Kathy. Cassandra's not right about much,but she is right that people die when mages lose control. I would have killed you if things had gone just a little different."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy shivered again at the reminder, though whether it was at how close it could have been or how cold it was, even she couldn't say.

"I'm not trying to downplay what you're feeling or what you went through," she said earnestly. "I just don't quite understand. How were you supposed to know he was a demon? Did Cassandra tell you and you just didn't listen?"

[not_every_mage]

"I was never told, but I shouldn't have had to be. Most people who can do magic can sense that level of darkness," Anders explained. "He might have just been much better at hiding what he was than I am at spotting it ... but in hindsight, I think I saw it and decided to ignore it."

He shrugged, feeling sad about that shiver. "Anyhow, it's not as though not being able to tell a demon is some brilliant defense for someone like me, either."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Someone like you?" Kathy asked softly. "You mean, someone who has been told their whole life that they're dangerous and wrong and need to be locked away? That had people take their blood in order to be able to hunt them down if they ever tried? Someone who wants to heal people, not hurt them, whose greatest wish is for freedom and justice, not vengeance? Someone like that?"

She leaned over, intending to rest a hand on his leg, if he didn't mind. "I'm not saying what you did was right, or smart. It wasn't either. But you had a damn good reason for it."

[not_every_mage]

And that was where Anders' eyes went moist and his throat closed around a lump, and he was just going to grasp Kathy's fingers if she didn't mind. It was a long moment before he could talk.

"I didn't realize you saw my side so clearly," he admitted, sounding a little awestruck at it. "I ... thank you. I'll remember that the next time I'm yelling at myself in my head."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Social Justice Warrior right here," Kathy teased, curling her fingers around his and grasping tight. "You think I wouldn't recognize another, even if he was from somewhere far away?"

And then, forget it, she was gonna try to pull him into a hug.

[not_every_mage]

Anders laughed through his thick throat as he returned Kathy's hug. "If I have to go home, that's going to be my explanation," he said. "I'm not an apostate, I'm a social justice warrior fighting for mage rights. By the time anyone figures out what I meant I'll be miles away."