Room 322, Friday Midday

[not_every_mage]

After Nathan got him home from town the day before, Anders had slept 12 hours, woken up for just long enough to devour three sandwiches and a sleeve of cookies, showered, filled Lachlan's food bowl and made some abject apologies to the cat who was now ignoring him in retribution, and then gone back to sleep for six more hours.

He was awake again now, though he almost wished he wasn't. When he was asleep, he wasn't thinking about how bloody stupid he'd been to fall prey to someone obviously evil just because he dangled the right kind of shiny. It wasn't as if he hadn't been warned it was all too good to be true; he'd just chosen to ignore it.

He didn't like to think about what that meant for him the next time he went up against a real demon at home. Possession was a fear for any mage.

Even knowing he'd forced Cassandra to spend a week on a fool's errand didn't give him much satisfaction. He supposed he owed her some kind of apology for his conduct, though not nearly as intense of one as what he owed Kathy. That might take cookies at a minimum. (Or some kind of present, anyhow. He wasn't sure what exactly said "sorry I almost froze you to death while I was in a demon's thrall.")

He laid on bed with his eyes open, thinking all of this over. He'd heard people were gathering at the clinic, and he'd go there to see what he could do. Later. Right now he was still weak and achy, and still needed most of his energy to finish healing himself.

[OOC: Mainly a linkdrop but open if you want!]

Comments

[spin_kick_snap]

"You weren't any worse than the rest of us," Kathy pointed out. "I mean, you didn't turn around and declare yourself Mage-Emperor of Fandom or anything." She wrinkled her nose. "Considering the hold he had on all of us, I don't think 'free' actually describes your situation anyway."

Free will was Gaunt's will, mostly.

"Why? What do you think you should have done?"

[not_every_mage]

"I should have known he was a demon and found a way to get him out of town the first time I saw him," Anders said flatly. "I let myself get blinded by my own human desires. You don't understand, Kathy. Cassandra's not right about much,but she is right that people die when mages lose control. I would have killed you if things had gone just a little different."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy shivered again at the reminder, though whether it was at how close it could have been or how cold it was, even she couldn't say.

"I'm not trying to downplay what you're feeling or what you went through," she said earnestly. "I just don't quite understand. How were you supposed to know he was a demon? Did Cassandra tell you and you just didn't listen?"

[not_every_mage]

"I was never told, but I shouldn't have had to be. Most people who can do magic can sense that level of darkness," Anders explained. "He might have just been much better at hiding what he was than I am at spotting it ... but in hindsight, I think I saw it and decided to ignore it."

He shrugged, feeling sad about that shiver. "Anyhow, it's not as though not being able to tell a demon is some brilliant defense for someone like me, either."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Someone like you?" Kathy asked softly. "You mean, someone who has been told their whole life that they're dangerous and wrong and need to be locked away? That had people take their blood in order to be able to hunt them down if they ever tried? Someone who wants to heal people, not hurt them, whose greatest wish is for freedom and justice, not vengeance? Someone like that?"

She leaned over, intending to rest a hand on his leg, if he didn't mind. "I'm not saying what you did was right, or smart. It wasn't either. But you had a damn good reason for it."

[not_every_mage]

And that was where Anders' eyes went moist and his throat closed around a lump, and he was just going to grasp Kathy's fingers if she didn't mind. It was a long moment before he could talk.

"I didn't realize you saw my side so clearly," he admitted, sounding a little awestruck at it. "I ... thank you. I'll remember that the next time I'm yelling at myself in my head."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Social Justice Warrior right here," Kathy teased, curling her fingers around his and grasping tight. "You think I wouldn't recognize another, even if he was from somewhere far away?"

And then, forget it, she was gonna try to pull him into a hug.

[not_every_mage]

Anders laughed through his thick throat as he returned Kathy's hug. "If I have to go home, that's going to be my explanation," he said. "I'm not an apostate, I'm a social justice warrior fighting for mage rights. By the time anyone figures out what I meant I'll be miles away."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Tell 'em your staff is just a well-decorated bo," she suggested, doing a fair bit of sniffling herself. "If you need more buzzwords, just hit me up. I'm a TA for the BS class and this is one topic I'm all over."

[not_every_mage]

"You're kidding, but I've heard of elven mages getting away with that," Anders said. His voice was still doing that cry-laugh thing. "They call it a special Dalish sword or bow or whatever. Works better when they're standing beside an elf with a real sword as backup."

He smiled at her, less tentatively this time. "Thanks. Not just for the buzzwords."

[spin_kick_snap]

"You're welcome," Kathy said, trading him a less-wobbly smile in return. "Can I, umm, ask you something? You don't have to answer it if you don't want you. Or even just can't. I dunno. Maybe it's stupid."

It was probably stupid.

"Was there, umm, anything? More of differently that I could have done? To snap you out of it? Did I do something wrong, or just not at the right time, or...or did it just not work because it was, umm, me?"

[not_every_mage]

Anders let out a low breath. "Tough question," he said. "Mostly timing, I think. Besides, a lover's always going to be more persuasive than a friend."

He had some other theories, but nothing definite enough to put into words. The whole thing was an unpleasant muddle in his head.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Oh, I'm not trying to figure out why Nathan was able to do so and not me," Kathy assured him. "That makes perfect sense and is even kind sweet, if you ignore pretty much every other part of the situation. I just...I don't know. Wanted to make sure I didn't so something wrong?" She tucked her knees up to her chest and rested the side of her head on them. "Or if I never stood a chance? Or...or something, I don't know."

If she'd been a better friend to him, would that have worked?

[not_every_mage]

"You didn't do anything wrong," Anders said, leaning back against her and closing his eyes. It felt comfortable, this physical closeness. "Though you might not want to grab at things held by insane people with powers. It's not going to end well for you."

He was flattered by how hard she'd tried to tell him about Gaunt, even if he hadn't been in a position to appreciate it at the time.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Good," she said, cuddling up to him. "I wanted to stop you before you did anything you couldn't come back from." Beat. "Or before you died. Or before he took your soul."

All fairly terrible outcomes.

"I'll keep the 'no snatching from crazy mages' in mind, though," she promised. "Frostbitten isn't a good look for me."

[not_every_mage]

Anders groaned despite the cuddling. "Sorry. Did I say sorry yet? I'm not sure I can say it too often. Do you need healing or anything?"

He wouldn't blame her if she didn't trust his healing.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I think I'm okay," holding her arms out for Anders to inspect if he felt so inclined. Her skin was a little mottled where the ice had hit, leaving her with small reddish bruises, but she'd escaped any blistering or symptoms of real, dangerous frostbite. "Is it worth a heal, you think?"

Translation: would you feel better?

[not_every_mage]

Anders looked over the bruises, feeling another twist of guilt coupled with relief it was so mild. "I could," he said. "But it'd be more about making me feel better than because you need it."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Then it's pretty much up to you, isn't it," Kathy said. "I mean, I'm not going to object, but it's your skills and energy and...everything."