A Clearing in the Preserve, Wednesday Afternoon

[not_every_mage]

The different calendars made it hard to track exact dates, but Anders reckoned it was right about a year since the last time he got dragged back to the Circle -- and almost a year since what he hoped was his final escape had taken him to Fandom.

It was a victory. As far as he knew, no runaway his age had ever lasted anything like that long.

The thought of all that kept him cheerful as he set up for a picnic in the preserve with Nathan. He spread out a blanket, laid out the pasta salad, cheese, and fruit -- and then, out of restless energy, started picking violets. He wasn't sure what he'd do with them, but they were pretty.

[OOC: For the boy, please.]

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[not_every_mage]

"Don't worry about it," Anders told him. He'd already shifted his hands up to Nathan's ribs, and he absently rubbed his fingers against the flesh as he spoke. "I like the kissing and touching, and everything is better when you really want it anyhow."

[halfbad.livejournal.com]

"I'm working on that," he said idly. "I am."

But, it was a slow process all things considered. He was trying.

"This is what I want and need for right now."

[not_every_mage]

Anders nodded, bit his lip, and turned to catch Nathan's eyes as he asked a scary question.

"It's not about me, is it?"

He didn't think it was. But the insecurity still nagged at him.

[halfbad.livejournal.com]

"Anders, it's no one but me," he said, shaking his head. "I've never done anything like that before. Never. Never even gotten close and I just don't think I'm ready yet. My body's spent years being beaten and poked and tattooed and everything else. I just need to do it on my own time."

[not_every_mage]

Anders didn't say anything at first, just nuzzled against Nathan's neck tattoo and wished ... He wished a lot of things. The tattoo and what it symbolized not being there was high on the list.

"It was different for me," he said slowly. "Getting close to someone, getting off -- it was a way to be free for a little while. Not that I was-- it's not a long list besides you."

Karl had been the only time it was more than amateurish groping and fumbling about, and he wished he had Karl's calm certainty about it all to give Nathan. He didn't, so he groped for Nathan's hand, still not sure he was wording things quite right. "I'm here. No matter how long you take to feel ready."

[halfbad.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Nathan said, squeezing his hand and sighing. "Thank you."

Time was something he had right now and he appreciated the words. He did. So, he gave Anders' hand another squeeze.

[not_every_mage]

Anders shook his head briefly, squeezed the hand back. He appreciated the thought, but it felt strange to be thanked for not being an ass. "Thank you for giving me the chance."

[halfbad.livejournal.com]

"You're worth it," Nathan told him, smiling. He squeezed Anders' hand again and sighed. "And I'll get there. I promise."